American Pirate
by Hamza9236
Summary: Jake and his crew and Peter Pan are in need of a vacation away from Never Land. But, instead of going to London, they wind up in Langley Falls, and they'll be staying with CIA agent, Stan Smith. One thing's for sure. This will be a summer none of them will forget.
1. Chapter 1: We're Going On Vacation

**V: I just wanna be clear with everyone, I do a timeline on these stories on my profile, so you can see everything that happened so far. Now enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. American Dad belongs to Seth MacFarlane and Captain Jake and the Never Land Pirates belongs to Disney Junior.**

Chapter 1: We're Going On Vacation

_It was quite an average day for a certain Stan Smith at the headquarters of the CIA. Yet this was likely going to be no ordinary call in from his boss, Deputy Director Avery Bullock. As Smith opened up the door to his boss's office, he noticed a man wearing a white suit similar to his traditional suit he was wearing._

_"You wanted to see me sir?" asked Stan._

_"Yes Smith, please sit down." replied Bullock as Stan pulled up a chair._

_"So, what's the reason you called me here?"_

_"Why, I'll tell you." Bullock responded._

_Two hours later..._

_"And that's why I called you here, Smith."_

_"Wh... what are you talking about? You just waited two hours and then said 'That's why I called you to this meeting'. Is there a REAL reason why we're here?" Stan said._

_"Yes, well, there IS a reason and I'm about to tell it to you." Bullock said._

_"And does this have anything to do with this fella?" asked Stan._

_"Yes, it does Smith, you are going to be transferred to another secret government agency known as the Guys in White." replied Bullock._

_"I guess that explains why you must always wear white then." added Stan._

_"Actually, I'm the Deputy Director to a chapter within the Guys in White." said the man in the white suit. "You have been selected for your own personal qualities to help us find and hunt down one of the most insane and retarted people ever."_

_"You guys don't hunt terrorists?" asked Stan._

_"No, we hunt retards." continued the man in the white suit. "We need your expertise to help us track down this Homer Simpson we have been having trouble finding for the past__ few years."_

_"So is it a domestic terrorist retard then?" asked Stan._

_"Enough with the questions!" said Bullock. "Smith, please clear out your desk by this afternoon for your transfer to a new work location. You'll be located in Springfield, your family will be able to remain here, but you'll be able to fly passenger class on an airline there." Stan felt a bit disappointed that he wasn't going to fly in the business or first class._

_"I also should mention you'll be teamed up with a partner who knows your expertise." added the man in white as Stan was getting up to leave._

_"A partner, me? But, but I've always done my job alone." replied Stan._

_"You're going to have one, and I better not hear any complaints from you." continued the man in the white suit._

_As Stan's last day at the CIA was drawing to a close, after finishing packing up, the same man in the white suit approached Stan as he was leaving in his car._

_"I also almost forgot to tell you, in the morning we'd be coming to pick you up for work and take you to the airport." Added the man in the white suit as he was heading to what seemed like an obvious white armored van of some sort. "See you then."_

_About an hour later or so when Stan finally got home to tell the rest of the family the news. Most of them, expect for probably Hayley couldn't believe that he was leaving the CIA._

_"You're leaving the CIA?" asked Francine in quite shock._

_"But you had such a cool job!" added Steve._

_"Yeah, I know." sighed Stan as he was eating his dinner._

_"Well, at least you wouldn't be killing anyone in your new job." added Hayley._

_"Well, I can't tell you much about my new job, but the people whom I am suppose to fight against are already dead." replied Stan._

_"You mean we finally have a job that'll kill zombies?" asked Steve._

_"No, not zombies." replied Stan._

_"Vampires?" asked Hayley._

_"Not them either." replied Stan, "I can't tell you who I am suppose to be tracking because it is top secret."_

_"Well Roger has been away from us for a bit doing some odd jobs himself." continued Francine. "Maybe when you arrive at your new work location, you can try to contact him."_

_"At least this place is quiet without him here." said Stan. "And less annoying."_

_"Look who's talking" sighed Hayley as she went back to her meal._

_"Well, I for one hope you do a good job at whatever this new job is" added Klaus who was typically in his fish bowl, "I'm sure you'd be well adjusted for this new career."_

_Everyone finished their dinner, and then went to bed._

Hayley woke up from her dream. She just sighed. This was probably a great dream for her since in her opinion, her dad wouldn't be working for a job where racism is probably involved. But she knew that would never happen.

She looked at her phone, and saw it was eight in the morning. She got up from bed, and took a shower.

It was now summertime, and Hayley wanted to enjoy it as much as she could. Only problem is, she couldn't. Her husband, Jeff was doing something for the week.

She went into the bathroom, and found the bathtub full, as Klaus was swimming around in it.

"Yay, look at me! I'm free! I'm free! I no longer have to stay in damn fish bowl where it always smells like shit!" He exclaimed happily.

Hayley just left the bathroom, slowly.

"Maybe I should make Klaus human again."

She just wished that something would happen that would make this vacation one not to forget.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a far away place of myth and magic, it was a hot day on Pirate Island, and the young pirate team was bored. It was the beginning of summer, yet there was nothing Jake and his friends could do for the day.

"Aw, coconuts. Why does it have to be so hot and boring?" Cubby asked, clearly exhausted.

"I agree. What are we suppose to do?" Izzy added, running a hand through her hair. Jake looked at his two friends.

They were clearly bored, and hot. So was he. There had to be something they could do. "We could always go flying?" Skully suggested.

Jake looked at him and replied: "We've been flying to many times now. We need to do something else."

Suddenly, there was a green light coming towards the pirates. It came closer and closer until someone comes out of the light. It was the crew's idol, Peter.

"Peter Pan!" the kids shouted. Izzy ran up to him and hugged him. "We missed you, Peter." She said. Peter chuckled. "I missed you guys too. So what's up?" He asked.

Jake frowned a bit and replied: "Nothing. Summer has just begun, and there's nothing we can do. We've found about every treasure that's in Never Land." Peter looked at the crew with concern.

"Now that you've mentioned it, it is a bit boring today. And I've explored every land on the Never Sea that seems to exist. You're right Jake; we need to find something new to do."

Peter thought for a moment. Obviously, they needed to get out of Pirate Island, away from Never Land, and discover some place new… but where could they go? Peter looked up at the sky, and had an idea.

"Pirate crew, get ready for tonight." Peter announced. The pirates looked up at him confused.

"Why? What are we going to do tonight, Peter?" Jake asked. Peter smirked "We're going on vacation." He answered.

"But where?" Cubby asked. Peter pointed to the sky.

"We're going to find out up there: Second star to the right, and straight on till morning." The pirates cheered. They were going somewhere else other than an island.

"Are we going to get to see Tori again?" Jake asked excitedly.

"Not this time, sorry Jake. Maybe we'll see someone else. Maybe they'll be good people too."

"Yeah, but I still can't get that memory of the Griffin family out of me."

"Still thinking about it? It's been months now."

"Yeah, I know. Cubby had plenty of nightmares from it. But eventually he got over it. Right?"

"Yeah, I did." The chubby boy replied.

Last year, Peter Griffin, Brian, Lois, Chris, Meg, Stewie, Carter, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland got trapped in Never Land for the Thanksgiving break, and let's just say things didn't so as planned, as Peter and his friends had said many dirty and inappropriate things during a feast they all had, which may have traumatized the young ones.

_This is going to be great. _Jake thought happily. _I just hope we DO get to see Tori, and that __Blake doesn't follow us. That jerk had already messed up our fun too many times, and our vacation. He doesn't need to mess up this one too._

Soon the night came, and the crew was ready for there vacation. "Is everybody ready?" Skully asked.

"I've got my sword." Jake answered.

"I've got my map." Cubby added.

"And I've got my pixie dust." Izzy finished. "The fairies gave to me so that we could use it to fly, but only in emergencies."

"Yo ho, let's go on vacation." Jake exclaimed

With that, Izzy throw some pixie dust on the boys, and they followed Peter to the second star to the right.

Unknown to them, someone was following them…

"So… they're going on vacation one again. Maybe we should take one as well. To cause trouble."

**W: Welp, looks like this has started. And also, please expect the updates to be slow since I am now working on a numerous amount of stories.**

**V: You mean WE.**

**W: Yeah, I know. Are we here yet?**

**B: Yeah, we're here. Everyone off the RV. We're staying at a motel.**

**N: Alright.**

**407: Hold on.**

**T: Give me a minute.**

**V: Anyway, be sure to reply and we'll see you all later.**


	2. Chapter 2: Two Rants

**V: Welp, here we are. So, this mainly going to be an American Dad chapter. I honestly had no idea what I was writing here, so please bare with me. Now enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. ****American Dad belongs to Seth MacFarlane and Captain Jake and the Never Land Pirates belongs to Disney Junior.**

Chapter 2: Two Rants

It was now nine in the morning at Langley Falls, and everyone in the Smith residence was awake.

Stan Smith has just woken up from his bed and was taking a nice bath, trying to get his mind off something.

Last night, his boss Bullock, had dared him to have a whole summer, with a certain fat guy and a dog. But they both didn't know some other people would be joining them.

"Good morning."

"GAH!" Stan screamed as he jumped out of the bathtub to see his lovely wife, Francine staring at him while brushing her teeth.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS IN HERE?!"

"Well, you weren't in the bed having sex with me, and you weren't downstairs, so this is the only other place. And Roger said you haven't visited his bar for a while."

"Well don't worry. The people that are staying with us love beer. At least that's what I've been told. But if they do any crazy shenanigans, I'm kicking them out of the house!"

"Suit yourself. And put some clothes on." And Francine then left.

"I was still taking a bath, damn it!"

Then, Stan got a phone call. He put a robe on, ran out of the bathroom and picked up his phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Smith. This is Bullock. So, two things. One, are the two people here yet?"

"Uh, no sir."

"Alright, they'll be there soon. Second, did you see what looked like four people flying?"

"Uh, sir, if they were flying then they were probably using hangliders."

"Actually, they weren't. I'm starting to think they may be some sort of voodoo people."

"Soo, you want me to hunt them down."

"Not yet. We're going to see if they're friendly or not. If a mosque has been raided within the next twenty four hours, then they can stay. If anything else out of the ordinary occurs, we'll take them in for further examination. Are we clear, Agent Smith?"

"Crystal clear, Bullock."

"Good to know. Very well then, good day." Then Bullock hung up the phone. Stan was expecting two other people to come in for the summer. It was a fat man and a dog.

They decided not to say their names until they arrive at the Smith household.

Later that morning, everyone was having breakfast, and just when Stan was about to announce something...

"Hey, Stan, I need fifty dollars, I just found out that someone's selling Céline Deon's uterus on Ebay." Roger, the family alien asked.

"Roger, give me one good reason why I should allow you to buy a uterus." Stan asked.

Roger had no response.

"Exactly. You're probably going to use it to just show it to us in front of our faces when we wake up in the morning."

"No, I wasn't! I was going to do that to other people, like those two gays that work at the news station, also, I have a good joke for y'all. There once lived a man named Mr. Spaz. He had 40 seizures per day since he smokes weed so I guess you can call it natural. He looks like Savannah Wicksteed, he was butt ugly, and smelled like Mankayla Shilling, like an elephant's ass. His mother was Lindsey Lohan and his father was Mr. Spaz Sr. He only lived up to age 20 because he got A.I.D.S from having unprotected sex with Dora the explorer. He got Pregnant because they had both recently had sex changes and the baby was possessed. He only drank Red Bulls so grew wings. His father liked Selena Gomez so Justin Beiber fans killed him. Eventuallly his A.I.D.S climaxed so he died. Thus Slutvannah was born."

By that time, everyone had already left the kitchen, not even listening to Roger's ridiculous rant.

"Klaus, will I always be lonely?" Roger asked the fish that was on the kitchen counter.

"I don't know, probably. I mean, since you're an alien, you can't really get married to anyone." Klaus said.

"Wait. If that's true, then what would that make Dragon Ball Z? I mean, the main character is an alien married to a human."

"Well, that's another story because those aliens look like humans. Simple as that. You on the other hand, I'm... just, not so sure."

There was silence between them, until Klaus spoke again.

"Hey, I kind of liked your story."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, it was hilarious! Wanna hear mine, but it's different from yours. It's in first point of view. Still wanna hear it?"

"Hell yeah! Fire away!" Klaus was always happy with Roger. They were both like brothers since they do plenty of things together.

"Okay, I have a dog. Sometimes he has weird dreams. One time I read his mind and this is what I saw/heard. Dora the explorer was in a submarine, to help a baby dolphin. Then suddenly, a whale on its period, slammed in to the submarine. Dora sunk to the bottom because she was wearing so much jewelry. As she sunk to the bottom of the icy cold ocean, she saw a pineapple. She thought this was a hallucination from lack of air. It turned out she was sinking towards Bikini Bottom. When she landed she was freaking out because she couldn't breath. Spongebob was sitting down in his library type room, when he heard a loud screaming sound of sorts. He walked outside to see what was going on. He saw that a famous explorer was drowning. He saved Ponce De Leon. Then as Spongebob was walking back to his house, he saw Dora almost dead. He decided to take her to Sandy's tree dome. When they got there SpongeBob started to revive Dora. Then they went in to the tree and started to make a baby. Nine months later.. an awkward shaped baby popped out. It only spoke Swahili. SpongeBob and Dora were so confused. Then the baby, which they named Mr. Awkward, popped like a balloon. Spongebob started to throw a hissy fit. After that I kinda stopped reading my dogs mind."

Roger's mouth was wide open.

"That... was... AMAZING!" We should do that together! We should like, go on a tour around the planet and tell these kinds of jokes! Wouldn't that be great?!"

"Umm, sorry, Roger. I can't think of any other one." Roger was a bit disappointed. Then again, he was in the same situation, where he couldn't really think of anything either.

"Wait, what was that announcement Stan wanted to say?"

"I'm not really sure. I cut him off, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Maybe you should talk to Francine. Maybe she'll know something about this."

"I guess that could work." Then, Roger left the room to talk to Francine.

Right now, Francine was just watching some TV, and Steve was at school, even though it was summertime.

Apparently, Principal Brian Lewis had decided to do this summer break from August to September, meaning school ended July and would begin in October. Of course, no one questioned the reason as to why Principal Lewis would do such a thing.

Hayley, was just doing her own thing outside, and Stan was at the CIA at the moment.

"Hey, Francine. Stan said he wanted to make some sort of announcement, and since I cut him off, I was wondering if you could tell me. If you want, I can bring Klaus over here."

"Sure, why not. Just make sure you don't get crazy when you find out."

After bringing Klaus in his bowl with him, Francine then told the two about how there would be some fat guy and a dog staying with them for a part of the summer.

"Wow. So it looks like we're going to be pretty crowded for the summer." Roger said.

"Fine by me. I do everything in here." Klaus said in his fish bowl.

"Well, they said not for the entire summer. Hopefully they don't cause any trouble. And Roger, they love beer, so your bar is probably going to get some extra customers."

"Wait, they know about my bar?!"

"No! Not yet at least. We can tell them if you want."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Francine got up from the couch to answer it.

"Hello."

**V: There. Cliffhanger. Not saying who. You guys are gonna have to guess in the comments. So anyway, hope you enjoyed and we'll see y'all next time.**

**B: You wanna do some more Minecraft?**

**V: Yeah, sure. Hold on.**


End file.
